nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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