We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
