Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
