my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
