margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
