Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
