I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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