It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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