I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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