Just fell off a train. Bad.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
