Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
