They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
