I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have post one night stand depression
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
