He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
