Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
