It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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