This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
