Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
