bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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