We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
