you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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