So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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