Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
