i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
