Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
