Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
