don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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