people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
