i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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