Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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