This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
