for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
