Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
