He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
