we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize