suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
