yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize