i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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