Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
