I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i dont even know how to be here
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
