Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
