i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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