Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
