wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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