My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
