Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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