I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
