I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
