My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
