Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
